Allow Me

Allow me
to rid you of myself.
I, unlike you, am a coward
unworthy of bearing your triumph.
I run and hide in the face of torment.
I cower in fear and scurry away
from the devastation I create.

You are collateral damage in my presence.
But still
You grant undying concern and care
for the sore fool that which I am
who never ceases to dismay you with ignorance, oblivion, and absurdity.
I relentlessly shatter your heart that is as precious as crystal,
and I endlessly corrupt your conscience with worry.

I am an abomination to your heritage.
I am a taint to your name.
And I deserve no place in your dwelling,
for I am far from a blessing to you.

Allow me
to rupture these veins that fuel my existence and involvement in this splendid life of yours.
Allow me
to liberate you from the pain and affliction that I have caused you
ever since the moment I materialized in my mother's womb.

Please
Consent to this offer that I uphold.
I am knowledgeable of the efforts to which you have committed
to merely provide for my subsistence.
You have put to waste enough sacrifices just to let me survive.

I have granted you nothing of good.
Neither reward nor victory.
But all the unpleasant gloom and misery,
I am the cause for.

I waste my own life.
I manufacture my own disputes.
Yet you feel culpable for all these lunatical things I do.

I am like a virus in your near-perfect system.
A cancer that grows as time ticks forward.
This is what I am.
Yet I desire to cure you.

Allow me
to ravage these organs of mine
that you may never again experience
the hopelessness I had made you suffer.
Allow
this anger to flourish within my frame
that this vile body be reduced to lifeless decay
and serve its newfound purpose underground once and for all.

All I have ever fed you was sorrow, grief, and despair,
and no apology can ever compensate.
The scars I have blotched my skin
Blotch you even more, blemish you from within.
I am more unworthy than the swine
who would ever have the honour of eating the dust at your feet.
Hence, allow me to relieve you of the heavy burden that I am.
I beg of you.

Allow me
to embrace this psychotic, blood-soaked demise that awaits me.
I shall free you from the monster that I have come to be.
Enjoy your lively days and colourful moments.
You are far better off without me.
I am simply the opposite of what you deserve.

I love you too much
to witness you suffocating in shame and remorse.
My actions are nothing
but a disgraceful reflection of yours.

There is no more hope for me.
There is no more horizon to look over.
At least, allow me
To finally bring you closure.
Please
Allow me
To finally set you free.